I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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