That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
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well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
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We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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