I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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