Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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