Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
