I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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