The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
