a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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