If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
accomplished twins. life is a go
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
