In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
