I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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