Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize