Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
