It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
two words: eviction party
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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