she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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