Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh
  Replies (31) Good night (1479) Bad night (4736)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional http://tfl.nu/r1v2
  Replies (11) Good night (4734) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me. http://tfl.nu/9q78
  Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (2610)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/tadi
  Replies (11) Good night (9012) Bad night (2189)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family http://tfl.nu/p7y1
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (3617)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint. http://tfl.nu/g066
  Replies (1) Good night (958) Bad night (1892)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence http://tfl.nu/48zv
  Replies (3) Good night (1602) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now. http://tfl.nu/4pf5
  Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

  (210): View more from Texas

  my parents really loved me back then.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed. (210): my parents really loved me back then. http://tfl.nu/7xue
  Replies (9) Good night (1468) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch http://tfl.nu/n34v
  Replies (5) Good night (952) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/svv0
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night. http://tfl.nu/ej36
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into. http://tfl.nu/ua4k
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (338)

Randomize