Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."