Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed

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(217): View more from Illinois

You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make

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(330): View more from Ohio

he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in

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