Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  for doing what?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.

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  (248): ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day. (1-248): for doing what? (248): for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home. http://tfl.nu/ju4n
  Replies (33) Good night (2545) Bad night (551)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg

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  (508): he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg http://tfl.nu/z4cs
  Replies (5) Good night (587) Bad night (2783)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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  (303): i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special http://tfl.nu/5558
  Replies (40) Good night (3616) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So you're taking me there this weekend?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.

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  (508): Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu (781): So you're taking me there this weekend? (508): oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food. http://tfl.nu/y6ju
  Replies (35) Good night (7534) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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  (775): I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie. http://tfl.nu/cht2
  Replies (53) Good night (9202) Bad night (816)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.

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  (202): For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well. http://tfl.nu/xnfi
  Replies (46) Good night (4331) Bad night (1825)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

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  (248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders http://tfl.nu/1b2g
  Replies (21) Good night (4392) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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  (304): enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this http://tfl.nu/89bx
  Replies (18) Good night (3959) Bad night (582)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.

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  (902): It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies. http://tfl.nu/tvv6
  Replies (79) Good night (6896) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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  (917): had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary. http://tfl.nu/06cp
  Replies (6) Good night (3834) Bad night (852)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

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  (260): It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs. http://tfl.nu/yz88
  Replies (14) Good night (1155) Bad night (4540)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..

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  (902): i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see.. http://tfl.nu/ubpf
  Replies (9) Good night (4146) Bad night (950)
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  (707): View more from California

  Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.

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  (707): Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman. http://tfl.nu/78fa
  Replies (2) Good night (1124) Bad night (2027)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.

  (1+61): View more from

  Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.

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  (+61): I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover. (1+61): Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer. http://tfl.nu/so7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1624) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"

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  (650): I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun" http://tfl.nu/k4ww
  Replies (9) Good night (1683) Bad night (767)

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