i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"