from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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