I cannot find my penis.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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