I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
