Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
