Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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