i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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