meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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