Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
