I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
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Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize