I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
