i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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