The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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