I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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