Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
