you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
