She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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