I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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