Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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