that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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