Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
