I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize