Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

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  (301): We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud http://tfl.nu/i29s
  Replies (21) Good night (2284) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.

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  (856): I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full. http://tfl.nu/pi6t
  Replies (106) Good night (5210) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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  (608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv
  Replies (25) Good night (3789) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

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  (559): he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me. http://tfl.nu/5jau
  Replies (18) Good night (4521) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"

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  (214): I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt" http://tfl.nu/7s1k
  Replies (21) Good night (3725) Bad night (1147) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.

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  (502): I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day. http://tfl.nu/53ab
  Replies (5) Good night (2088) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again

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  (630): I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again http://tfl.nu/jwke
  Replies (1) Good night (1789) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy

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  (717): The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy http://tfl.nu/dgrf
  Replies (8) Good night (884) Bad night (2154) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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  (509): Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here. http://tfl.nu/v9yq
  Replies (10) Good night (1266) Bad night (1303) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

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  (727): It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm. http://tfl.nu/84qt
  Replies (4) Good night (1953) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Did strip banana grams actually happen last night

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  (607): Did strip banana grams actually happen last night http://tfl.nu/pz66
  Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."

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  (814): I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day." http://tfl.nu/1vs8
  Replies (5) Good night (988) Bad night (1475)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily

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  (770): I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily http://tfl.nu/jbfr
  Replies (7) Good night (1916) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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  (704): I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now http://tfl.nu/20zt
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....

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  (479): You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging.... http://tfl.nu/it7p
  Replies (0) Good night (192) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt

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