So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.