Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.