K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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