There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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