Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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