when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
