I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
