what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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