And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize