in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
