i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
