sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
