if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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