Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
