Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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