So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I could make wine with my vomit
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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