I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
