I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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