I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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