He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
