Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
