why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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